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Easy January

by The Justin Arena Project

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credits

released March 17, 2016

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The Justin Arena Project Rockland, Massachusetts

Geek Folk from the south shore of Mass! We will play your Kitchen, Bathroom, Basement whatever! Just Happy to be here, Thanks.

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Track Name: New Safe Place
I'm breathless in a good way
Let me take two steps back
It's been too cold to skateboard,
It's how I usually get around
You weren't such a wise one
Don't worry i'm the same deal
Don't forget pick up your package
I left it on the steps for you I left it there for you
And have no sympathy,
For my demons are still in bed
I Put them to sleep with some magic
I found in my new safe place, in my new safe place
Glowing by the candle light and cobwebs
A Portal to a new realm
Acrylic beauty and wooden board thoughts
Maybe one day we will finally get caught
Light from three ways, two usually work
Noise from the mechanics put me to sleep
I've been listening to your favorite songs
They can't put me to sleep even all day long
Track Name: Illuminated
Your Portraits still on my wall
it doesn't look like you at all
cluttered in stillness i drowned in change
i never take it down no matter how i re-arrange

Im still Illuminated by the lights that we left on
in your bedroom,in my bedroom, were i write the fear away
Im here to stay alone, to lie to myself, to lie to my own
I wont pretend i care ill just prove, prove that im alive

Laying down my feet seem so fa away
Perspective is everything, at least thats what i say
Lately ive been getting practice crying and i honestly have no idea why
maybe im just too emotional, all i really know is that i love my life and i dont wanna die

Im still Illuminated by the lights that we left on
in your bedroom,in my bedroom, were i write the fear away
Im here to stay alone, to lie to myself, to lie to my own
I wont pretend i care ill just prove, prove that im alive

Have you ever walked outside when you shouldn't?
From Highland to Market to Central to Union?
I marked it all down as i crossed the Border of The Town
Have you finished taking note of the cold wet ground just yet?

Fear Was Stronger Then Passion
The Stakes Were higher then any of us could've imagined
When Push came to pull we ran x2

Im still Illuminated by the lights that we left on
in your bedroom,in my bedroom, were i write the fear away
Im here to stay alone, to lie to myself, to lie to my own
I wont pretend i care ill just prove, prove that im alive
Track Name: Scarecrow
You give and you receive
There is no in between
If you want to run me dry
I'll just let you then I'll die

I'll be dead
as my eyes roll back into my head
Ill be dead
Like a scarecrow standing in a garden bed

String up the moon, it's time for harvest
The leaves crunch off the solemn trees
But no one can hear there silent screams, oh no
The only creatures with acceptance are those who have scars to show

I'll be dead
as my eyes roll back into my head
Ill be dead
Like a scarecrow standing in a garden bed

My joints are locked, I feel like I don't have bones
For such a long time I've always been alone
Despite the people that have passed
In the end it didn't matter no one cared to last

I'll be dead
as my eyes roll back into my head
Ill be dead
Like a scarecrow standing in a garden bed
Like a scarecrow standing in a garden bed
Like a scarecrow standing in a garden bed
Track Name: I Am Not Dead
I'm so numb I can't feel my noes
A warehouse can paint the prettiest picture now don't you know?
And I mean every inch of my sleeping space
Take a look at my head to my toes
I'm alive for once in my life
I'm alive for the rest of my life

Passionate obsession and and a cool breeze
Passive subtle vibes blowing from the trees
And I saw the window through it I saw the floor
I hope that I am same my intentions are pure
Chorus
Maybe I'll echo again
Maybe I'll call you my friend again.
Track Name: Imagery & Metaphors
God damn I hate leaving ,Just as much as I always have
If I could take away the part were I began
Maybe I wouldn't start and I wouldn't grow so mad
I didn't think my habits could drag me down that bad
If anybody saw me this way
I would be exposed but less then human, There wouldn't be too much to say
I'd be cornered in the cold
The erie silence would return, I'm getting to old already
Bending over, throwing up, side to side I can't stand up
Right to left they say smart up and grown a brain
Stumbled steps, heavy doors, falling just to meet the floor
We've become so acquainted I could go insane
Because imagery and metaphors could never substitute
Destructive Jealously and slave driving institutes
Physically sabotaged, emotionally drained
One day you'll learn What acting brave can truly convey
It's like the cops are coming through kind of adrenaline
Only there's no way to stop it no matter the agent
But of course the effort continues I mean what can I say?
If you were in hell would anyone really sit and stay?
From hallway to lobby , my head stays ajar
Waiting for some talent sweep me off my heavy feet and take me far
But the kings Queens and there whistles blew astray the whole time
That's how I can tell that life doesn't quite feel right
Well maybe it's so difficult to try to see threw these tired eyes
Maybe learning isn't talent but a hard developed skill
Patience is finding time that you can kill and waste away
I'll understand if you leave, I know I wouldn't stay (hold)
It is much as I want to I can't run away
I have to fight the fears and issues that restrain me everyday
But the pain you don't get used to no it's corrosive it will make you stay
A Point of view can be stated but not explained
The shackles of depression haven't ceased to manifest
And The little time I'm sleeping I can't seem to get some rest
The Shaking never stops and of course i never feed
I'm hungry and weak No matter how much I eat
Why are we taught to self loathe even in our sleep
Our Heroes are full of hate and our teachers full of greed
Looks like the line is getting pretty long
To hear the truth of were we rely all went wrong
Track Name: Down The Line
You sold yourself to a fox all those years ago
You become so nomadic, you can't seem to find a home
Everything is Okay and things will find a place
Lift me up until I'm dead and in a higher space

I'm not self-conscious and I'm just cautious as my mother
And I may be getting old but I'm not as bold as my brother
Values will be the death of everything you know
Nothing really matters when your getting ready to go down the line

I was shaking like a leaf on a tree
Wishing things were how they used to be
And I find it a bit ironic
That it seems so hard to find you iconic

Come with me down the road
We're the summer is hot and the winters to cold
Shut the door in my sweaty beating face
My demons lurk, do my dirty work. Let me see your face

I was oblivious and crude
To this sensitive ruse
Why was I dealt this hand?
was I just ment to not understand?
Do think you think this is a game?
Is it just me or are we both to blames
Even when It won't show this doesn't feel the best
I wish knew how to fix this mess
Track Name: Anything More (Ft. Julia Orenstein)
Everyone makes mistakes and have been Down
And trust me nobody wants to see you frown
You know im always here for you til the day I die
maybe i can make that heart with broken wings fly

family and friends surround me till the end
you cant get a grip of my cold dead hands
around me are the people i love and care for
and you cant convince me i could ask for anything more

Reflections of the past
Memories always last
something about this cant be right
Are you okay tonight?

family and friends surround me till the end
you cant get a grip of my cold dead hands
around me are the people i love and care for
and you cant convince me i could ask for anything more

So i never want to see you try
to come and join me on the other side
ill see you in a hundred years
until then, you can just pretend that im right here
im sorry that we got so far, only to be torn apart
but i know, you wlll know, that its no surprise
that ill always be by your side

Now its true sometimes i can be careless
but tonight im not
Ill be shakey and nervous
but then youll see i care alot x2'

famliy and friends surround me till the end
you cant get a grip of my cold dead hands
around me are the people i love and care for
and you cant convice me i could ask for anything more
Track Name: Freedom Isnt Free But Living Could Be
I can hear conversations that I can't take part in
They can be pretty interesting if you listen on in
I listen To these stories as far as I can hear
I wonder the next time will you come around here?
Join me in the state house were we could cut off all our hair
I don't really care, I don't really care
See me in the basement, I'm comfortable there
I don't really care, I probably will never care
I could care less for a corporate job
I could less for working all weekend long
I don't wanna be in debt for the rest of my life
Freedom isn't free, but living could be, don't you agree?
We may be distant, your never in sight
But I still know your around me I know you'll be with me tonight
I could phrase it in every wrong and right way
I would continue talking but I don't have anything I really want to say
Wait hold on, there is one more thing
Believe in yourself keep on that silly grin
Confidence is crucial and kerosene kills
Watch your demons burn as you climb higher than they ever will
Track Name: Talking In Code
I gotta go, and you're talking in code
Saying I know where you've been and I know where you go

But I've been tired from the minute I woke
I stopped listening the moment you spoke
and said I'm long gone
yeah, I'm long gone

And I'm sleeping alone
in a house I don't own
cause if you're touring your mind
you'll get lost every time
you'll sing me sad songs to keep me awake
in that bedroom where we hid away
Baby, I'm long gone.
Yeah, I'm long gone.

And your voice cracks like a piano
you keep moving,
but where are you going?
Baby, we're long gone
Yeah, we're long gone
Track Name: Meant To Fail
All I really need is comfort
And all I've been lacking is some rest
So I'll show that im a lover
I'll find the strength to get dressed

Because nothing been the same since you've been gone
And I don't know if it's for better or worse it hasn't been that long
Some people change and some people don't ,you tried you best and failed
That's okay, that's not your fault we were meant to fail

Walking down my middle hallway you look over at me
These things will be Okay, we're safe and we're happy
but what happened to you these past couple months?
You've turned to stone and shattered me to dust

Because nothing been the same since you've been gone
And I don't know if it's for better or worse it hasn't been that long
Some people change and some people don't ,you tried you best and failed
That's okay, that's not your fault we were meant to fail

Gently smiling you walk back down the stairs
Not realizing what you've done wrong you couldn't have a care
But there's a fine line between happiness and bliss
And neither of us will be anything but measurable tlll I ex you off my list

Inside the courthouse you could be sentenced to death
But knowing you persistence it's not over yet
You'll tear up the building and bust up the walls
But your issues aren't mine and I don't have he time to worry anymore

Because nothing been the same since you've been gone
And I don't know if it's for better or worse it hasn't been that long
Some people change and some people don't ,you tried you best and failed
That's okay, that's not your fault we were meant to fail
Track Name: Vanity
Immediately, I vanish in my fears
Golf club vanity, respect among peers
The river flows, where did the time go?
Don't end up in the past like me
Hopscotch skipping, everything is black
The days you're gripping, i'm never coming back
When they are gone
When you are gone
Immediately, I vanish in my fears
Golf club vanity, respect among peers
The river flows, where did the time go?
Don't end up in the past like me
Daydream spinner, The night is in the air
Offensive sinner, you couldn't have a care
Stop, try to see ahead.
Listen, to everything I said
Immediately, I vanish in my fears
Golf club vanity, respect among peers
The river flows, where did the time go?
Don't end up in the past like me
Approach me now, after all you did
Explain to me how, that talk was with your kid
You can be a tool in life or life can be your tool
Don't say I didn't tell you twice don't tell me I'm the fool here
Immediately, I vanish in my fears
Golf club vanity, respect among peers
The river flows, where did the time go?
Don't end up in the past like me
Track Name: Unraveled
Uncurled fingers In your hand I could never understand
How much you've had enough, please believe me I wanted to call your bluff
But you cried and I screamed, neither of us with a shoulder to lean on
Later that night I'd dream, that your still here with me
There is so much I wish I said to you
And so much I wish I didn't
But I ran out of excuses the minute I let you
Treat me the way you shouldn't, I grew to hate you
But I've been so blind for all of these years
When push came to shove I'd succumb to my fears
And the sound of your voice made me
break Down In tears
(I used to wish we didn't get so bad
But now I just we we never got past 3 months)4X
Track Name: We Are Not Kids Anymore
I used to share a bunk bed with my big brother
We would stare straight up and talk about the day before
My little sisters mattress was on the floor
We all piled up stuffed animals at the door

We were young, we were sane
We were different yet the same
We were proud and hadn't met Shame just yet

We stood in the corners of the hallway when we were bad
Discreetly telling stories hoping not to get yelled at
And we could only hope we wouldn't be there all night
Our little legs would eventually give in

I can still smell the carpet floor, of the old bedroom
The aroma of burnt plastic and Dusty toys
The cobwebs in the heater, behind the bed
Thoughts of monsters and whatever was in my head
Track Name: Colors
The sunset was nice today
It reminded me of you
Maybe that's me being too excited
Maybe it's just true
I'm sitting on my steps
It's getting pretty dark
It's getting pretty cold out here
I think might go back inside

I can't find the time to find your favorite color
It'd not like I need to, I already know
Green and magenta are both solid choices
I like those colors to

I could think about sky
but it would be all to vast
Or maybe just enough to see
that nothing ever lasts X2

Nothing ever lasts

I like those colors to x2

Woah x2
Track Name: We Lost Connecticut
So much has happened in so little time
At the end of the day I just hope all of you are fine
I know I can turn to you when things seem bleak
I know we're I can fall on my knees get to week
There's not a face around that Ain't yours
Where I can turn to past 4 AM
I'm comfortable and safe
Weve made a great place
And we have nothing to show, to anyone
But each other it seems, that's real intimacy I think
It's meetingful that we can, throw lipstick down The Corridor and have it throw back
So please we lost Connecticut my friends stay with me till the end
Track Name: Easy January
We found a mouse at my work last light
Trembling in the sink, terrified
Shackled to fear it couldn't comprehend
I cut my hand with a Calligraphy pen
We left it my room again
I felt pretty forced to play pretend
I keep hurting myself in the end
I just talked to you for the first time in months
We are in the same room 5 days a week
Ive been writing less melodies then usual
Please try to Ignore the drawings on the wall
I keep them there to nostalgically remember
The time in late December that I'm never getting back
It's the Middle of January and we finally got snow
I wonder why it took so long I guess nobody knows
There are so many situations That seem to move so slow
I wonder why that is,
And the glass around my frame starts to crack
It's a gradual kind of break not really something that I lack
I seem to cry a lot more when I'm tired and starving
It's pretty normal to be exhausted, to feel weak, and struggle to function
Say exactly what you mean
I will be honest with myself
I must've missed a couple details along the way
If I was a lot more informed I'd have a lot more to say
Distracting myself has become a habit and a hobby
I know what's going on to an extent
Letting my thoughts create what was going on
Was The only thing that stayed easy
Believing in myself even when was wrong Was The only thing
It Was The only thing,
Was The only thing
that stayed easy.